Interview with Sheila Bingham

 

" For example, I went into a shop, shoe shop, I wanted a pair of shoes. My daughter and
grandson was with me. I was pushing the grandson in the pram, he was only tiny, and I
said, ‘Can I have that pair of shoes in the window?’ and the lady went to Sylvia, not to
me, and said ‘Do you realise, does your mum realise, those shoes are for men?’ and Sylvia said ‘Ask her.’She was talking as if I wasn’t there...”  

 

Born 24 July 1931

 

Educated Marple High School, Nottingham; Wilfred Pickles School; People’s College for Education in Nottingham

 

Born in 1931 at home in Ecklington. Not expected to survive the night. At ten months went to Manchester specialist Dr Page. Not expected to learn to walk or talk but toddled when given doll’s pram aged three, then callipers. Mum determined to do everything she could. Moved to Derbyshire aged one. Family memory of her ‘killing weeds’ with watering can. No awareness of cerebral palsy in area where they lived. Enjoyed village school when taught by Miss Humpfield. Gave up callipers around ten, then boots. Games to use right hand. Left school at seven – not doing needlework; upset by use of cane. Taught at home then at private school, Marple High School, till 16. No problems with other children. Favourite subjects. Working with parents in garden. Writing up school notes. People’s College for Education in Nottingham in her twenties. War-time working in garden. Nottingham until after the war. Hayfield in Derbyshire, market garden in Lake District, then Nottingham. Eight years in Lake District from 1949. Assessment at rehabilitation centre in Egham, Surrey, with Labour Exchange.

 

Lake District market garden: gathering vegetables, helping on stall when it was busy. No-one accepting her for work with children. Interview for nursery nurse training failed as not handled baby less than six months; nor had candidate who was accepted. Helping at Cripples Guild in Nottingham run by Mrs Beasley (Saturday morning group for disabled children). Was house mother at Wilfred Pickles School (run by Spastics Society). O-levels using typewriter and dictation. Borrowing notes from classmates. Wilfred Pickles School before college. Looking after two five-year-olds; one was deaf, the other said very few words. School very recently opened (September 1955). Children treated as individuals. Still in touch now. Independence of being away from home and doing things for others. Description of typical day. Taking pupil to see lake. History of school: Wilfred Pickles founded it in memory of son, David. No questions asked about disability – prayer and support. Sheila wanted to stay longer but her mother entered her into college.

 

1950s assessed by the Department of Employment and sent to a government-run experimental research station near Preston to do gardening. Stayed in digs and met David who she worked with every day. He left to become a teacher, they wrote to each other and met every holiday. After 10 years he asked her to marry him. Heard about the Spastics Society, mum wrote to local Preston group who got in touch with her and she joined in fundraising. No physiotherapy available and mum taught her everything. Had special shoes up to aged 16. Never thought about having cerebral palsy, no one talked about it and did not really think about being different. At school she was accepted and had a few friends. Lucky to have mum and teacher who encouraged her. Home schooled for a time, found going to school tiring and too fast paced. Wanted to work with children. Took O Levels later at college, wanted to get a job. Married in 1963. Mother was not happy about it. She and David wanted to have children no matter what.

 

Married in 1963. Moved to a new home in Tadley, near Basingstoke. David got new teaching job. Planned to have a family and got pregnant straight away. Hospital found it hard to deal with disabled expectant mother. Baby girl, Sylvia, born 1964. Hospital taught her nothing to help her care for baby. Hard to feed baby and change nappies. Never lifted baby, moved her around in pram. Joined Basingstoke Spastics Society. Able to meet people and go on outings. After two years moved to Boston, David got job teaching farming at college. Joined local Spastics Society. Set up welfare department and arranged physiotherapy for disabled children. After two years moved to Doncaster. David got job at school he went to as a child. Joined local Scope and joined Scope as an individual member. David died 1979. Formed Riding for the Disabled group for over 16s. 62 Club at Nottingham where secretary and club in Doncaster. Felt accepted as a mum with disability.

 

SB visited London Hilton in 1987 to receive award for long service for ‘Stepping Stones’, Doncaster SB presented flowers to Duchess of Kent. Awards from computer manufacturers were also given to people who had adapted computers for use by disabled people. SB comments on her nervousness. Met celebrities including David Jacobs who remembered meeting SB at Work Centre in Redhill, Surrey, 20 years before. SB describes differences that computers have made to her life, e.g. use of a word processor for NVQ in childcare, and for writing her autobiography. Given award by ‘Riding for the Disabled Association’, who arranged attendance at Buckingham Palace Garden Party. Long service award presented at Scope AGM in Blackpool (45th anniversary of Scope), Meets Tony, fellow pupil at Wilfred Pickles School. Describes childhood friend Edie. At age 5 SB was Edie’s attendant when she was May Queen at Hayfield, Doncaster. SB comments on difficulty with walking; callipers and boots hidden by long dress. Was helped to walk at 3 by means of a doll’s pram. Bridesmaid at cousin’s wedding in Liverpool, where in charge of 2-year-old cousin. Brooch awarded for service over 25 years for the RDA (served as secretary at Brockholes and worked to establish group for older people).

 

SB born at home 4 days early, 7 lb 3 oz. Nurse normally present had night off. Parents told by doctors to forget baby. Nurse showed confidence in mother’s ability to cope; baby taken home a week later. Parents never spoke to SB of feelings. Lack of oxygen stated as cause of difficulties. Specialist in Manchester said SB would never walk, talk or sit up. Mother ensured SB sat at 1 year and stood at 3. Because ankles ‘turned up’, SB given callipers and boots (very heavy). No name given to diagnosis for many years. Influence of CP on life: difficulties with writing, and being slow at doing things, but finds solutions. SB describes her married life in Basingstoke with husband David and daughter Sylvia. Lack of support in hospital, where she was not allowed to bath or change baby or shown how to do this. On return home had help from District Nurse and husband. No adaptations in home or any support network. Learned own ways of coping, eg ensuring safety as Sylvia became mobile. Comments on Sylvia’s early memories, and family’s experience of attitudes and adverse comments of others. Notes slow change, but finds people (mainly adults) are still patronising and prevent people with CP from doing things for themselves. Explains how this led to setting up of the 62 Clubs by Bill Hargreaves, including own club in Nottingham set up with help from Ron Firman. SB’s work as secretary: difficulties and successes.

 

Difficulties in early years of Nottingham 62 Club, including trip to Douglas Zoo: no facilities provided. Child’s pushchair offered for an overweight man. Help of St John’s ambulance workers and loan of wheelchairs from local Spastics Society group enabled people to get access to zoo and late lunch. Problems of arranging entertainment for group of 30-40 people aged 16 years upwards. Talks by Ron Firman on archaeology, and by Sheila on trips to Switzerland at age 16 (Interlaken, Montreux, Lucerne), and also Grindelwald and the Jungfrau, and (for SB’s 21st birthday) Chamonix. SB used buses, train and ferry as well as walking (no callipers since age 11). Recollections of younger days market gardening with parents (very tiring and only for pocket money). Lack of social contact apart from customers. Outstanding year: 1938 when SB a bridesmaid. Recalls subsequent married life with David: Lake District holidays. SB wanted other children but was advised to wait until Sylvia aged 4, by which time too late. Contrasts treatment of modern fathers by hospitals with that when Sylvia born. Examples of children not given opportunities at home in spite of abilities.

 

After 2½ years at Wilfred Pickles School (WPS), SB enrolled by her mother at college in Nottingham in order to O and A levels. Difficulties faced, e.g. need to catch up with work as started college late. Wrote about trip to Jungfrau in O level. Describes work at WPS, eg teaching basket-making. Skills of one boy able to weave with feet; also draw, paint, write and play draughts. Challenge to head of school, Mr Pedder, from pupil to weave seagrass stool so as to understand difficulty of task. School curriculum. Films, ‘Forbid Them Not’ and ‘Every Eight Hours’ made at the school, the latter with commentary by Richard Dimbleby (SB makes fleeting appearance). People met by SB at WPS reunion 10 years after leaving, including Brenda, one of a now married couple educated at WPS and now living in first Blue Peter House in Wales. SB’s difficulties in finding jobs after getting qualifications despite experience. Adventure when missed last train home when visiting parents and subsequent special arrangements by station staff to avoid such problems.

 

Involvement at Doncaster in Spastics Society, e.g. organising fairs. Committee included Margaret Baxter; also parents and other carers of people with CP; initially SB the only member who had CP. Encounters with discrimination: daughter Sylvia experienced unpleasant comments from children and their mothers. Comments made by member of audience at ‘A Day in the Death of Joe Egg’ when SB fundraising with family. Examples of mothers with CP forced to have children adopted. Work from 1984 with Stepping Stones in Doncaster (under-5s playgroup). Took NVQ in Playgroup Studies. Work with Riding for the Disabled (RDA) group from children at Tickhill from 1978, helped by Sylvia and David before his death the following year. SB started group for children aged 16+. Problems overcome in setting up group at Finningley riding stables. Value of RDA (giving disabled riders independence and confidence). Public speaking experience through initial encouragement from Bill Hargreaves who set up Speakers’ Weekend, which included SB and Rosemary Dawson-Shepherd. Parents did not want SB to marry as wanted to care for her; tables turned in later life when SB cared for them. Background to SB being given SOS (Stars Organisation for Spastics) award as ‘somebody special’ by ‘Going Live’ audience (BBC TV); her initial disbelief. Filming of life story in garden and at farm (RDA event).

 

SOS award ceremony. SB helped by Blue Peter’s Sarah Greene, who also received award. Noel Edmonds and Bob Monkhouse present. Presentation of flowers to Duchess of Kent at Scope AGM in Hilton Hotel with Sue Endicott. Attendance at Buckingham Palace Garden Party. Voluntary work for over 30 years with Brownies, first (with husband David) as tester for award of badges, then as leader. After David’s death, SB cared for parents. Gave up Stepping Stones. Mother died in 1992 aged 93. SB moved in to help father. Through this he realised her capabilities (described her as a ‘dunce’ at age 7). For past 2½ years SB swimming every week. Plans to join daughter and family in Loire Valley, where they are to run a campsite. Two of three grandchildren will continue education in France. SB will help with phone calls and emails. Grateful to nurse who did not believe prediction that SB would not live beyond 4 days. Based on experience at age 6 when having tonsillectomy, notes hospital practice in the ‘bad old days’ of not allowing children in hospital to see their parents. Talks given to children from age 7, and adults (e.g. women’s groups). Gives tasks to children to help them understand problems of fine motor movement limitations, e.g. picking up coins while wearing gloves, threading a needle, writing left-handed; also wearing blindfold.

 

Second World War: declaration during family holiday in Welsh campsite. Father’s shocked reaction. Recalls seeing and hearing German planes and bombs over Manchester. Father (air-raid warden) spotted bomb falling near Kinderscout and predicted location (Raworth). Arguments between fire crews from Hayfield and New Mills (bomb in ‘no man’s land’, a stream for which neither crew responsible). Effects of war on school life: gas masks; need to go to nearby cottage during air raids (special concession for SB and two other disabled pupils). One casualty in the war, killed by stray bomb intended for Manchester. Recalls meeting fellow disabled pupil years later, who told of having to give up job in shop because employer did not provide her with a chair. SB hates 5 November (firework noise reminiscent of bombing). Mother took in 3 evacuees from Manchester. Mother’s characteristics: outgoing, strict but did not force SB to do things, instead guiding her to feel she had achieved for herself. SB followed mother’s example; feels she owes much to her. Recalls children being given sixpence each and clothes for fancy dress competition. SB’s feelings about motherhood; refused to wear callipers (suggested by doctor to help her cope with weight in late pregnancy). Coincidence of fellow pupil Sheila Steel, same birthday as SB (née Lead). Husband’s 10-year teaching experience including his last enjoyable two years at Fernbank School for disabled, age range 5-15. Work for Spastics Society and 62 Club. Activities of latter included outings, eg to York. SB’s dog prevented admission to Minster and city walls. SB’s decision to ask GP for wheelchair when became aware of reduced mobility (previously had used walker). GPs’ increasing knowledge of CP’s implications; SB feels they still have much to learn from people with CP. Proudest moments: recognition for helpful influence on others, e.g. autistic child at Stepping Stones who learned to say hello.

 

Sheila relates that she resisted running after a naughty child. She sat quietly and seized opportunity to grab as he passed. Books thrown on floor twice by another naughty child. Next time, Sheila quietly suggested he picked them up. He did and never did it again. Doing nothing achieved a lot. Working with children and young people. Moving to France - the challenge of the new life with her family.